I like living at Hermann’s palazzo, better than living underground in the frost-laden forests in my country. All I need is a bottle of little water, a slice of bread, and a slice of lard. Don’t try to come between a halfling of the steppe and his drink. I’m a friendly guy of sorts, but people have trouble understanding my sense of humour. It’s because of my deep, deep soul. It’s painted with the colours of the hard freeze, but my spirit is full of fire. You should hear my jokes, and my love poems. I will deliver them to you with great passion while we partake in a session of lard-eating and little water-drinking fun. What I love best in life is food, and a good fight. Declaiming the virtues of Alexandr Sergeevic, and staring into the fire with a bellyful of alcohol. I’m not one to judge. Of course I prefer my people, the halflings. But anyone is welcome as long as they treat me with respect and eat and drink with me. Of course, I don’t mind buying, because I am a respectable fellow. My pockets are deep, but the money is scarce. Good thing my good friend Hermann is paying the bills for everything else. I am not a gambler, but in a gamble, I like to bet. I am a drinker, and I will sink your half-orcs under the table with no effort. When the time comes and we need to fight, I’ll jump in, belly forth and give them hell, because I am not afraid. Except, of course, of running out of little water.
We keep a tidy business in this corrupt town. Do come in and help yourselves to the canapes. People must eat, even in times of war. And in such times, people will still need a bit of panache. I’m not just talking about premium vegetables. We believe that everyone deserves to eat well, no matter the enterprise and the creed. I’ve got a shining on the drinks, too. We generally prefer a more refined taste, but our chefs work tirelessly to please all philosophies of food.
Why choose Hermann Gray’s All Manners of Exotic Taste? For starters, we don’t judge. Then, there is a great choice of everything, and all the free food! Did I mention the delivery options? Be prepared to be blown away by our telekinesis system. On our premises, you can rest on our couches or enjoy an afternoon at our fish spa. And while your toes are being nibbled at, you can sit at ease and let your mind wander while enjoying a slice of our delicious Frosty Bite Cake TM. Please don’t forget to drop by at our shop in Virgin Square for a taste of timelessness.